Croque Madame Muffins (or my version of it)

While I do have a recipe for this french lunch time snack of a bread muffin cup with a cheesy egg filling- to share today, I also have some news. The reason for my absence after my last post.

Two weeks back I lost my grandmother. Even though she was old and had not been keeping that well for years, the news of the death was unexpected. I was to visit her on the 20th and had my travel planned and tickets booked accordingly. Now I wish I had first come to her and then gone to visit my brother, but I guess that’s how it was supposed to be.

My grandmother loved and took care of all of us the best she could, and believe me she could.

For her, feeding us was the best way to show her affection, and she thought us polishing off everything she made was the best way we could return ours. And since most of my summer vacations during my school years were spent at my grandparents place, in two months of our stay it was a norm that my brother and I would at the least gain 10 kgs; the highest for me being about 18 kgs and and an increase in jean size from a respectable 27 to a not so healthy 36 inches. No doubt my grand mother was a great cook. I had plans during this visit to learn from her her chocolate ice cream (made from bottle gourd/ giya ), her sesame seed potatoes and her lip-smacking pickles. She had given me the recipes for all on the phone, but I thought I will ask her to show me once as well. But I guess that too was not meant to be.

Her recipe for dal paranthas is my go-to recipe when I can not think of anything better to make for V and me. And it will always remind me of her now.

Although growing up, my grandmother showed a slight preference towards my elder brother, once I was in college both of us became closer. The 6 months I spent trying to set up a baking venture, living at my grandparents place before I got married, got the two of us even more close. So when I got married she did not like that I was staying so far away and would constantly be worried and checking whether I was happy in the US, telling me that I have gone too far away.

 At 82, that’s still her actual hair color, having never colored her hair in her lifetime.

And though we are all sad about her demise and still not used to her absence, the person most affected is my grandfather who had been married to her for 65 years. My grandmother would fight a lot with my grandfather for small things, but we all knew they really cared and loved each other. For any small decision, my grandfather would consult my grandmom, and now when he tries do that he is reminded that she is no longer there to give him her opinion. He is heartbroken and don’t think anything will ever change that. How do you get used to not having the person you woke up to the last 65 years of your life next to you anymore. And at his age, the pain is even more. We try our best to divert his mind, but at this age you need your companion of 65 years next to you, and not just a memory of that person.

We are getting back to our routine and helping my grandfather get back to his, or at least get him busy enough. I am staying with him for a few days and the other day I decided to bake something for him. My grandfather is a foodie, and loves trying out new things. So when I saw the recipe for these “muffins” on TV the other day on the show Rachel Khoo’s Little Paris Kitchen, I thought he might enjoy it. 

I adapted Rachel’s recipe that uses ham in it to make a vegetable one since we were still not cooking meat at home. I do not know if the french would still allow me to call it a Croque Madame Muffin but the bottom line is that it tastes good and is pretty easy to put together, so I am posting it.

This version of Croque Madame with a mustardy, bechamel sauce and cheesy herbed egg mixture is perfect for a lazy brunch on the weekend. Do try it and let me know how it goes!

(Click here for the link to the episode this recipe is inspired from)