I am depressed.
and
Mad.
and
hurt.
and
so not pregnant!
Before you get the wrong impression- this is not the case where V and I have been trying and haven’t been able to get pregnant or anything like that. Believe me, pregnancy and a baby is not on our agenda in the near future. We are just not ready.
Those photos were of me.
A very not pregnant me.
One was clicked in April.
And one in September, on our recent trip to Vegas.
Within hours of my two friends posting those pics of me, three of my other friends messaged/mailed asking whether I was pregnant.
One did not even ask.
She was so sure I was pregnant that she sent me her good wishes and how happy she was that I was pregnant.
The people who posted them are two dear people in my life.
The people who remarked on them are also very dear.
And since they are dear, those remarks hurt me even more.
Now I know how that Home Depot lady felt when my preggo friend’s kid asked her at checkout “Are you pregnant too?”
She felt devastated!
She felt mortified!
Suddenly, that sandwich she was eating, made her feel like puking. (might as well play the part since you look it, right?!)
And now imagine a situation, where a similar incident happens to the same person three times in a day.
The hurt is that much more.
Ask me.
It makes you go into unimaginable grief.
And if in case you see the remarks just before leaving for your morning jog, all you can think of is how to get to the jogging track as quickly as possible. And how to shed that “no-baby baby bump” (N3B, in short) away.
Of course, because of all the havoc the messages have caused on your mental state, you forget to take your cap or put sunscreen, and are left tanning away to glory, jogging in the hot blazing arizona sun (you would be surprised how strong it can be even at 6.30 in the morning). And unlike fair skinned people, tanning is not welcomed by us “brown people”.
Also gone, is the feeling that jogging is a stress buster.
Everytime your body releases endorphins, your brain releases the words “fat as a pregnant lady” and sends stress signals all over your body.
And during the jog, besides dodging the resounding words “you have a baby bump”, you are also mentally planning your new healthy diet.
Now you are a stressed-out sickly tanned brown girl with a N3B.
Actually you are an out-of-breath, stressed-out, sickly tanned brown girl with a N3B.
Once home and once you have stopped panting like a mad dog, you turn to the guru of all healthy food bloggers, Heidi Swanson for healthier recipes to fit your newly resolved diet plan.
This is one such recipe.
Heidi names it the “Easy Little Bread” recipe.
I, aptly, have named it the “I-am-not-Pregnant” Bread.
And for those who are worried I’ll stop posting about the good stuff full of butter and cream-
-don’t worry-
I’m eating some chocolate to take care of that depression of mine!;)
FYI this bread is absolutely delicious!
adapted from 101 cookbooks
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